SOS jokes

Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.

Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?

Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.

Why are orphans so lucky?

Every crisp packet is family sized.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

Yo hairline so ugly, it looks like a newfound constellation.

Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!

Person: You're so ugly.

Me: You ugly.

Person: I'm not a mirror.

Me: And I'm not your reflection.

Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.

A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.

The Bible said, "Adam and Eve..." So I did both.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.