SOS jokes

My dog died. I'm so sad.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

Marleigh is so fat and ugly.

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.

Ya forehead so big Sakura's forehead seemed small.

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

"How much have you found so far?"

"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]

Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.

Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?

Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.

Why are orphans so lucky?

Every crisp packet is family sized.