SOS jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."

Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.

Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.

You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!

Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Your forehead is so big, you could roast meat on it.

Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.

You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.

Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.