SOS jokes

Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy, but in the end, Jack got a face full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.

Why was the Koala Bear so clever?

Because he had good koalifications!

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.

He won’t stand against the three of us!

Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.

Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??

Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋

Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?

He was a fungi!

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.

Why do women have small feet?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....

Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.