SOS jokes

Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.

Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.

You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.

Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

Why do orphans become criminals?

So they can become wanted for once.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

You're so ugly that your birth certificate is an apology.

Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.