SOS jokes
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.
Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.
Memes
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!
Yo mama so stupid, she raised you.
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?