Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Sorriness Jokes
Chapter 1. "Kid teacher"
Mrs. Lewis: Class, I want everyone to look at their textbooks and find a reasonable essay topic. My suggestion is page 232 or 678. Now, this essay counts as the final grade for the semester. Now do it, or you will repeat 5th grade again! Now turn to page 100, and we'll start reading from there. Do you all understand?
Neilela: Yes ma'am, quick question, we don't have to do it today... do we?
Mrs. Lewis: Yes! It is today!
Andrua: It sounds boring, and all I have to do today is be a big jerk who gives way too much instruction.
Mrs. Lewis: Anyway, let's get to work.
56 hours later.
Mrs. Lewis: Kids, when I call you, please tell me what you liked about your essay. When I call your name, Carl.
Carl: Why me? Yes?
Mrs. Lewis: What did you like about the story, Carl?
Carl: Um... I liked it when... um... um... um... um...
Jeklen: He didn't even read the story because he's too busy trying to look up the letter "J" and its meaning!
Carl: Jeklen, shut up and stop biting your hair.
Jeklen: At least I know what the letter "J" is.
Mrs. Lewis: Class, please listen. Carl, did you read the story that I asked you?
Carl: Well, not really because you were the one reading it in class, so...
Vronica: For real!
Carl: Mhmmm
Mrs. Lewis: Listen class, this homework needs to be done today! DO IT!
Kimbriel: Ms. Lewis, I have a lot of questions about tonight's homework.
Mrs. Lewis: Yes?
Kimbriel: You assigned so many things just for a little test! What?
Mrs. Lewis: I need a break! Peyton, you're in charge!
All students: NO, NOT PEYTON !!!!!!
Peyton: Me? In charge? Of the class?
Jessica: Wow, but you're all about the boredom!
Peyton: Shut up! yeeeeeeee
Peyton: Ms. Lewis, there must be a mistake, how can I be in charge? I'm 11... I think...
Ari: To think that yesterday she thought she was 8 years old.
Oh sorry... I think.
Mrs. Lewis: Have you ever heard of a teacher's vacation?
All students: That's not a thing!
I never heard of it...
Mrs. Lewis: Well, me and Ms. Sumrall, we are going on a "teacher vacation", we can do it because we become calmer, or we don't get angry at the students. AND WE CAN DO IT!
Khloe: Why?
Mrs. Lewis: Because I am an adult.
Ms. Sumrall: Is Petrina ready?
Ms. Lewis: Yes, thank goodness for this!
Kenya: Bye? "Chapter 2" To be continued...
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
Hey guys, sorry to bother you but search "Izzy" on the search thingy on the website, thank you!
Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!
"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"
I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!
A Chinese man moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a home on a small piece of land.
The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.
He goes next door, but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbor leading a bull down the driveway and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."
"What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."
"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bull-shit!"
Just before lockdown began, a woman took her 15-year-old son Tom, and 14, 16, and 18-year-old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.
The weekly family Zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14-year-old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week, the 16-year-old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18-year-old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14-year-old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.
So the father waited until he’d talked to his son and daughters, and asked if he could talk to his wife alone.
“Look, I know you and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?”
She started crying. "No, Tommy's the father! I'm so sorry, I never meant for it to happen, but it's been so lonely here without you....I walked in on him jerking off and just couldn't help myself! And Annie's been missing her boyfriend at college, and it....it just sort of got out of hand."
"It's okay sweetheart, I forgive you. You've been isolated for months, up there."
She wiped her tears away. "I can't believe how understanding you're being about this. When we get home I'm making you the best steak and lobster you ever had! I know you aren't eating well, I was looking at the bills on Amazon Prime and saw you ordered a 45-pound pail of peanut butter!"
He looked down under the camera line, under his desk. He wasn't wearing pants, and the family dog was still licking his dick. "These things happen."
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!
Harvey 😁: It's funny!
Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, Harv!
Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?
Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!
Harvey😟: That's not true!
Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!
Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!
Kalierien😡: Hi guys, how's your day?
Harvey😁: Good!
Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!
Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!
Neona: Gwen?
Gwen: Yes... what can I do for you?
Neona: You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a liar! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!
Gwen: You should have listened. Plus I'm over it!
Neona: Are you mad at me?
Gwen: Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen.
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
Hi Freshfry, hi Alex, I did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brother's soccer game, and then people came to our house till 11:00. Lol, sorry :)
