Someone jokes

Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.

Teacher: Who?

Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!

Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."

What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

Ever heard of account stealing?

Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?

What do you call someone who fixes walls?

Juan, probably.

What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?

The Doughker.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?

Panera misled.

When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”

If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?

What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?

Panera Behead.

Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?

If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"