Society jokes
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Bumpkin boy.
I ate a man because he was dead!
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?
1. They both want to die.
2. They both cut to die faster.
3. They both listen to emo songs.
4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
Helen Keller def faked it.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!