Society jokes
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
Why do orphans love getting r@ped?
Because they want to know what love feels like.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
What's more sensitive than a pushy?
A Western man on the internet.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
What is the difference between a human and the human rights act, a tree house, and a human being?
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Q: What happens when emos make out?
A: They don't; they just hang out.
Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
New protest.