What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?
"Aaah, a ghost!"
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
How many blacks does it take to start a riot?
-1.
Why can't orphans go to a five-star hotel?
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.
Anyone have lightskin jokes?
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!
