I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.
So I told her to go stand in front of one.
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
Q: What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a flying piece of shit? A: One letter.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Your hairline got pulled back you look like you've been climbing Chris and you got smacked up by Will Smith
Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.
yo hairline is to pushed back looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Will Smith slapped your hairline to space.
It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
