Smith

Smith Jokes

Danielle Smith

Danielle Smith obviously can't understand a rhetorical question.

Every time you ask her if she can get any dumber, she takes it as a challenge.

Danielle Smith

I'm not saying Danielle Smith shouldn't party with oil barons.

I'm just saying that she should carefully watch her drink if she does.

Danielle Smith

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a baby with anencephaly?

A. The anencephalic baby can't help not having a brain.

Brain

Q. What do Danielle Smith and a baby with anencephaly have in common?

A. Neither of them have a brain.

Smith

Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro

Danielle Smith

It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.

Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.

Difference

Q. What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a prostitute?

A. I respect prostitutes.

Tylenol

Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.

I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.

Train

I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.

So I told her to go stand in front of one.

Nut

Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?

A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.

Difference

Q: What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a flying piece of shit? A: One letter.

Interview

(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)

MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?

BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!

MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?

BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!

MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?

BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.

MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.

BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!

(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)

MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!

Face

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

Baldness

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

Hairline

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.