Sisters jokes

Brother: Your nuts!

Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"

What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?

They're both "sweet home Alabama."

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)