Sister jokes

I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.

A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.

But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

Dr. Seuss dark jokes.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!

Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?

Because they don’t have a sister.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

What's the difference between sex and gender?

You can't have gender with your sister.

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.

The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"

The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"

The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"

The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"

The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."