Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama
Because the don’t have a sister
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
The daughter walks up to her father and he asks him “Dad can I ask you something?” The father says “Of course, what’s your question?” The daughter replies and asks “How do you feel about abortion?” The father says “Why don’t you ask your sister?” The daughter replies “I don’t have a sis-“
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.