Shop

Shop Jokes

Sex

*walks into sex shop*

Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.

Ice Cream

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

Johnny replies: "Sure."

After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

Wrist

My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.

She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.

The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."

Mental Illness

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

Stripes

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

Discount

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Orphan

Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.

Ice Cream

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

Baby

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

Open a pizza shop 🍕

Stephen Hawking

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

Emo

Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.

Discount

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!