Shock value jokes

What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?

Ginger! You racist fuc-

What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.

Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this:

"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"

or

"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"

Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.

What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.

What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.

I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.

When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...

A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.