Shock value jokes
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
