Shock value jokes

Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?

Ginger! You racist fuc-

What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.

Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this:

"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"

or

"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"

Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.

What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.

What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.