Shes jokes

Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the earth, she sits around the earth.

Why can't my grandma talk?

Because she's dead.

Your mom is so fat that she doesn't need WiFi because she is worldwide.

Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!

Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.

Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.

Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.

Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

The steering wheel.

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.

My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.

There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why don’t she stand up for herself?

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.