Shes jokes

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

Yo mama so small that she tried to hike Mountain Dew.

My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Yo momma's so fat, she was the iceberg in the Titanic.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣

Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?

Because she is a home-y.