She jokes

How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. Your other brothers can't deny that she's fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black. But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F. 'Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef. And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess. I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song 'Cause I'm in your house every night doin' your mo-om.

I'm doin' your mom. Yes, yours!

I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers. Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen but her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans. I approached her in the checkout line, and said, "Yo baby wassup?" She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs. Five minutes later she agreed to get with me so we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart. I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start. She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again. How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it. She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it. Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Doin your mom doin doin your mom

You know we straight with doin your mom

I'm doin your mom. Yes yours!

I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin out your drawers.

Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.

I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?

She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.

Five minutes later she agreed to get with me

So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.

I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start.

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.

She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young

To be in the bed, butt-naked doin your mom.

Doin your mom doin doin your mom

You know we straight with doin your mom

I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.

You other brothers can't deny that she's fly.

We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that.

She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black.

But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F.

Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol

But If I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez.

Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed.

She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest

She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.

She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness

I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess.

I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song

Cause I'm in your house every night doin your mo-om.

Doin your mom doin doin your mom

You know we straight with doin your mom

I'm havin' sex with your mother

That makes me better than you.

I'm havin' sex with your mother

That makes me better than you.

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.

The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.

The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.

A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"

"Sure," said the little boy.

The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.

"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.

So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."