Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied she came to me saying I’m getting bullied I told her stand up for her self
how do u get a depressed person out of a tree..?
you cut the rope they hung them self in...
Little Johnny was living with his granpa durring the summer...Well grampa had a beer and Johnny said “grampa, let me get a sip of that” Grampa said “well lil Johnny, does your dk reach your a?” and lil Johnny said "well no sir"And grampa said then no you cant. Later that day papaw(granpa) had a ciggar and Johnny said let me get a hit of that and papaw asked well Johnny does your dk reach your a and Johnny said no again and then papaw was shootin his gun and johnny asked if he could shhot it and granpa asked Johnny if his dk reached his a and johnny sid no well after supper Johnnys granma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER) and granpa said “Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream” and Johnny asked papaw "well papaw does your dk reach your a nd papaw said “well Johnny as a matter of a fact it does” and johnny said “good, now go fck your self cause you aint gettin none of my ice cream!”
If you want a joke look at your self in the mirror !
I Was Watching T Siries and i thoght to my self man this sucks my sister watches jameand charels and he alwayssays thats t sires so is it him SUB TO PEWDIEPIE UN SUB TO T SIRES THEY SUCK
self harm jokes arent that deep
I asked God why does no body like me he showed a reflection of my self
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying. tip 1. Ignore them, bullys are really just cowards. tip 2. Stand up for your self, its ok for people to also help you but you do the same for your self! 3. Just let them be, their just stupid! Love you-Iariah
jack and jill went up to an abanded house jack drank to much and unziped his fly jack said you know you wana jill said no so jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in jills mouth tied her to a bed he riped off her dress and underwere he took off his pants and his underwere to then put on a condum he then put a pill in her mouth and made he swalow one minit later she was asleep he took off her gag and mounded his self on her then stuck his candystick in her mouth next her fanny then his condum broke but he was to drunk to notised 9 month later a babys born and jacks in jail as the father
why does adam go hockey you might ask? in my opinion he shouldnt go cus he is bad but he needs the armour to protect him self from his own STEP-DAD
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Look at your left hand now look at your right hand an tell your self what hand do you cheat with !
WANKING
I made this one up my self just now.
Stephen hawking would be a good pilot becuase the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
I can make a living with the Treat Yo self budget
Yet I can’t use the Help yo self budget
know the nuclear bombs of the world
🇷🇺🧨a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨“ww3”
🇬🇧🧨a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨what bomb
🇮🇷🧨just self defence
I asked my phone why I could get a date. It showed up a picture of my self
all i wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise* unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self
why did the orphan kill his self
