Self-Will Jokes

Why did 10 kill itself?

Because it was between 9/11.

This is a joke in itself.

Apex Legends: exists.

Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."

What's your favorite type of flour?

Don't know.

Mines self-raising.

You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

My work here is done.

The image says "Be kind to yourself because..." followed by six reasons to be kind to yourself: 1. No one will ever be kind to you as much as you will be to yourself. 2. You deserve to receive all the kindness back in the world that you give out. 3. Being kind to yourself will add up to your self love and value and you will end up feeling much better than you did before. 4. It is a form of respecting and accepting yourself for who you are which can also encourage you to become more than you are. 5. It will expand your inner beauty which will shine on the outside. 6. Kindness makes your world and the world around you better.

How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope they hung themself in...

A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well, no sir." And grandpa said then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said, "Let me get a hit of that," and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and Johnny said no again. And then papaw was shootin' his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d*ck reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f*ck yourself 'cause you ain't gettin' none of my ice cream!"

If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!

I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.

Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.

Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!

Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!

Love you-Iariah

"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."

Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?

In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.

Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.