Self-will jokes

I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?

Self-raising.

What do you call an orphan's family portrait?

A self-portrait.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?

A self-me.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

What flavor do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

What’s a selfie of an orphan called?

Family picture.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

This is a joke in itself.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.

Why do most orphans cook for themselves?

They don't have a home cook.

What's an orphan's favorite flower?

A self-raising flower.

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

Why do people want their grass to be emo?

So the grass will cut itself.