School

School jokes

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

I was gonna go to a shooting gallery, but I realized that schools aren't open on Sundays.

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."

Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"

My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

In the morning at 6:30 AM,

Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

Me: Trump & Biden.

Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

After school,

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

"She looks at her clock."

Teacher: And now I am sewed.

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".

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  • Teacher: What does a pig give you?

    Little Johnny: Bacon.

    Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

    Little Johnny: Wool.

    Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

    Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

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