School jokes
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?
Why can’t an orphan go on the field trip?
Answer: They don’t have a parent’s signature.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________