School

School jokes

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The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.

What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?

Parents' evening.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

To which the boy replies, "No."

The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.

At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

"Shut up," she replied.

The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"

But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.

But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.

But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.

The boy replies, "Shut up."

"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."

The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"

The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"

The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

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    • Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.

    Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!

    *New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

    *Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

    Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

    The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

    Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

    Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"

    Little Johnny said, "No, what?"

    She answered, "The principal's office."

    Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"

    The teacher answered, "No, what?"

    "You have a d!ck in your mouth!"

    Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

    Me: Wow, they found the body already?

    Dad: :/

    Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.

    Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌