Sad jokes

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?

Dad:

Why are orphans sad?

Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

He could not find home.

What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry!

(classic)

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly."

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

Why is the orphan sad for dinner?

He has no one to eat with at the table.

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.