Right

Right jokes

Bear

Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!

Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?

Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!

*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*

Lionel: AHHHHHHH

Dick

Best thing ever right here.

So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.

Paranoia

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

Tree

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

Drug

I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.

Bean

You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.

Ball

Jesse: Do you like my ball?

Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?

Jesse: No, they do not leave me.

Ass

Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)

Alphabet

He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D

Ketchup

🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.

No, not like you can ketchup!

Job

Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.

Toilet paper: Ya, right.

Soldier

Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”

Soldier says, “Mhm.”

Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”

Soldier says, “Really?”

The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"

Body

Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.

But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.

Waste

Where are you right now?

Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.

Friend

My friend: Yo stupid.

Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

Baby

I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)

Blowjob

I went home one day, and three guys—a Spanish guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy—told me, "You should be proud of your sister. She won a trophy about knowing her flavor of meats." Then my sister told me that I was blindfolded, and she gave all of them a blowjob, and I had to guess which flavor that I was sucking on. I was right all the time, and they gave me a trophy. The Trophy says "Blowjobs of the Flavors." As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.