Restaurant jokes
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
Stinking poo poo bum.
Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."