Religion

Religion Jokes

Palestine

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.

But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.

So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!

Hell

Joke time!

Now, Heaven or Hell?

Heaven: we got clouds.

Hell: we got a frickin' private yacht!

Drug

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

Church

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.

Priest

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

Jesus

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

Mama

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

Orphan

POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.

The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."

Orphan

Why did the orphan go to church?

To hear some "foster" parenting advice.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Priest

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

Pride Month

Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?

It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...

Momma

Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.

Atheist

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

Toaster

"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."