What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Religion Jokes
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Your hairline is so far back that not even God knows about it.
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
