Relaxation

Relaxation jokes

Shot

A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.

The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.

The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.

9 years later......

All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.

Memes

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Explain Bear and Corrupt Diss Track: First off, fuck off this site, no one asked for your two man circus of cringe And no one’s impressed by your dime store ideas of relevance Y’all walking red flags with Wi-Fi, always looking for a target Probably because you can’t stand the fact that you’re forgotten This ain't the Hunger Games, and you ain’t fucking President Snow Nobody likes you, fuck your monologues and your ma… Read more

Alex stood at the edge of the village, watching as the sun began to set over the horizon. She had just returned from another long day of mining and crafting, and was looking forward to some rest and relaxation.

As she started to make her way towards her house, she noticed a strange figure standing in the distance. It was an Iron Golem, towering over the buildings with its imposing presence. She had seen many of them… Read more