Reflection jokes
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it鈥檚 shattered because of your reflection.
I鈥檇 roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
I am glass! People see right through me.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?