The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
I saw ur forehead and realised ur mom and dads forehead were as big as urs also ur gay
I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.
Unleash the jokers...👍
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.
A guy is at his locker and a girl comes and says hey i love you and the he says ok cool she then replies and says well what do you think about are love he says count the stars and then she says oh infinity and he replies with nope its just a waste of time
For a while lead was used in pencils but ... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
I was listening to some Drake in class.
My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
