your hairline goes so far back your mom cant even reach it
Why did the chicken cross the rode? because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
Nasa called me and they said they reached you hailine
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a Rectal Thermometer and thought
Some Asshole has my Pen
Why cant orphans play baseball?
Because they cant reach home
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?" Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled "16!"
Why did the midget not go to bed? He couldnt reach the bed
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Your hairline so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in-time before it grew
How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd? It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide WEB!
*An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can't reach it so she calls her son for help* *a few minutes later* son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- *slips and noose chokes her to death*
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
when the quiet kid lost a game of basket ball and reaches in to his bag
other people in gym: oh shit this nigga bouta shot
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach NEW HEIGHTS in his performance
why don't indians play baseball?
Everytime they reach a corner they make a shop
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
