Reach Jokes

why are short people sad????

don't jugde tho itz crap but________________________________________ coz they couldn't reach happiness

your so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips

What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?

Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.

Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven... His Dad says, "WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies... You think I can have some??" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass"... Little Johnny says, "Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"...

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Steve!"

"Steve who?"

Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's have reached a point where she can no longer remember him.

This joke is so that this reaches 69 jokes

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

They never reached home.

Here is funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo cause you know girls and hair, when she went to sqeez it out it came oil, tooth past, chicken breast, barf, and oniouns! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY when she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it agian! Later!

Gambler

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am." "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet." The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man." "I am. But the steaks are too high."

Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong! Then comment good comments if not then just comment! Lets reach 67,000 comments good!

You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.

Why are midgets constantly thirsty?

They can't reach the drinking fountains.

I asked this kid for a high five but but he could not reach my hand

Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."

A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

DON'T SMOKE!
WHAT A JOKE!
Within 10 seconds of your first puff,
the toxic chemicals in tobacco
smoke reach your brain, heart and
other organs. Smoking harms
almost every part of your body and
increases your risk of many
diseases. Smoking also affects how
you look and feel, your finances and
the people close to you.
Smoking causes most lung
cancers and can cause
cancer almost anywhere
on the body.
Avg. Annual Deaths Attributable to Cigarette Smoking
In the United States, 2005-2009
Stroke 15,300 (4%)
Other
Diagnoses
56,800 (10%)
Chronic
Obstructive
Pulmonary
Disease
100,600 (21%)
As the nicotine levels in your body fade, your
brain craves more dopamine. The longer you
have been smoking, the more dopamine you
need to feel good. You become dependent on
nicotine.
Other Cancers
36,000 (8%)
X
More Than
479,989
US Deaths Attributable
Each Year to
Cigarette Smoking
The nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive. It makes
your brain release a chemical called dopamine.
Dopamine is a 'feel good' chemical that makes you
feel happy helps you to concentrate gives you more
energy.
Lung Cancer Stages
Lung Cancer
137,989 (29%)
Ischemic
Heart Disease
133,300 (28%)
CL
healthy lungs
early-stage cancer
late-stage cancer
Smoking is major cause of cardiovascular disease, such as heart
disease and stroke. Smoking increases the risk of blood clots,
which block blood flow to the heart, brain or legs. Some
smokers end up having their limbs amputated due to blood
circulation problems caused by smoking.

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town. He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.” The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

3 drunk guys entered a taxi

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."