Reach

Reach jokes

Midget

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

Ladder

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.

Child

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Backpack

You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.

Age

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

Helplessness

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

Glass Ceiling

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

Heart Monitor

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

People

Why are short people sad?

Don't judge though, it's crap but...

Because they couldn't reach happiness.

Stephen Hawking

What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?

Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.

Partner

Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.

Driver

Three drunk guys entered a taxi.

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

Card

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

Man

A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.

He yells, "Hello ladies!"

Grandmother

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Steve!"

"Steve who?"

Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.