Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
What is my favorite color? Yellow.
What is
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
Guess what?
Good guess.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
What do you call a man with farts?
DEEZ NUTS!
"Ayo, Lynx, where you at?"
What is the difference between a dog and a cat. I don't know either. Why do you think I asked you. ;)
Question: How was Covid-19 born?
Answer: Someone fucked Batman! π
