Put jokes
I got kicked out of the library for putting the Women's Rights book in the fantasy section.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
I got kicked out of a library today because I put a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.