Purchase

Purchase Jokes

Slave

Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂

Ceiling fan

I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

It was a complete waste of money.

He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."

America

What was the worse purchase America ever made?

Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.

Orphan

Q: Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?

A: Because it has no home button.

Horse

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

Little Johnny: What are you doing?

Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

Bill

What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?

"Put it in my bill."

Butt

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!

Mama

Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!

Orphan

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

Wrist

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

Curry

An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

Second-hand Store

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.

I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."

Cremation

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com