New Project Jokes

AI - AI - Rabo several projects:

Decker: “No Hebingingennanorin and Chirver.”

Alx: “Madam Bob Lee Hubn Vera 20”

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

A project where people get lined up to be changed.

Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?

Work came to a grinding halt.

You wanna hear a construction joke?

I'm still workin' on it!

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"