Pretend Jokes

#1 Man : pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20

#2 Man : My son Died at level 4

#1 : Lol, Your son is a noob

Urban areas are fill with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

What's worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can't we just die :) ?

why do Emos love Christmas? so they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. hope u liked it, happy holidays!

"Amen "Amen" "Amen"

Hail satan.

.............

Oh sorry I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.

friend 1: I don't want to jump. friend 2: me neither .murderer: if you don't jump ill stab you. friend 1: jumps. friend 2: jumps. murderer. i didn't mean off the building friend 1: I know that i just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy

Lets play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be Mcdonalds,

Cuz I'll be doin it and you'll be lovin it.

tell an old person to pretend shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see

i went to the pharmacy the other day. i tried to buy a pack of condoms but i pretended i didnt have enough money to mess with the cashier. i went back into the aisles of the store got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap bought them and walked out. i loved the look on the casheirs face when they saw my decision.

i remember last year all these biches called me lame so i stoped the simping and pretended i was gay, now i think theyre all fucking with me. im an L G B T Q imposter got cut last year know ive made the roster and you may think im a monester. im just just tryna see some titties.

VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month. - LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up. DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

What is a kids favorite thing to do with their dad? Play pretend dog in the bed.

there's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck one is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have and the second reason is to wack off

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody- *pulls out noose* 'COME HANG'... *pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Did you know, curing boredom is quite simple. For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?” The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

John pretended to be a doctor. Motu came to him. He said "I lost my hunger". John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said "Your hunger is back!" Then,Motu said "I lost my taste." John said "Number 1,bring some water." Motu drank it and said "This is petrol!" John said "Your taste is back!" Motu said "I lost my memory." John said "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said "But Number 1 brought water." John said "Your memory is back!"