Press jokes
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
How much context, pecker? You Press context categoria, go Discord.
Drink tea with friend game night.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday? Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day? F5
I think I know why Stephen Hawking died, he pressed Alt+F4.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.