What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
What is the most common theme in Africa?
Starvation.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he wanted to be wanted.
Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Why was the first orphan phone an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
What would an orphan ask for Christmas?
"A someone."
Zozo laughed at his wife for her husband being a hobo.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. πΉπΉπΉ
That's if you even have an account. πΉπΉππΉπππΉπΉ
Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
