Play jokes
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"