Physics

Physics Jokes

Religion

Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?

Computers don’t really have a specific religion.

Physicist

1 "Knock knock."

2 "Who's there?"

1 "Interrupting physicist."

2 "Interrupting who?"

1 "Muon!!!"

Black Hole

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

Tongue

I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

School shooting

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

Baby

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Priest

What do priests and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

Atom

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

Stephen Hawking

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

Emo

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.