Pet jokes
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
My dog died.
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
What did the dog say to the other dog?
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.