How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
What did the dog say to the other dog?
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
Meow meow meow meow :p
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
