Persuasion jokes
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
