Parent jokes

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Girl: Wanna come over to my house?

Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.

Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.

Judge: But why?

Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Why did the orphan wait in line?

To see their parents next.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?

Orphan: Parent signature: ___________

The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

Joker: Knock knock...

Batman: Who's there?

Joker: Not your parents!

The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

The students said, "Your parents."

The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows...

How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

Why did the orphan go to a church?

So he could call someone "father."