Parent Jokes

Why did the orphan go to a church?

So he could call someone "father."

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.

Why do orphans always get picked on?

They can't run and tell their parents.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Parents during breaks and weekends

A man in a light blue shirt, suspenders, and a patterned tie looks directly at the camera. Above his head, in a bold white font on black background, it reads: "Yeah, if you could go back to school." Below his chest, on another black background, it reads: "That'd be great." In the lower right corner in small gray text is written: quickmeme.com

An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?

"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Like if you know an orphan.

How is an orphan like a boomerang?

They always come back!

If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Little Johnny walked to his parents' room. They were having sex, and Little Johnny didn’t know what that was, so he said, "What are y’all doing?"

The parents replied, "Umm, r-rapping presents!"

Little Johnny said, "Okay," and then left. In the morning, Little Johnny opened his presents. His parents said, "This one is from Santa!"

Little Johnny said, "No, it’s not, y’all said y’all were rapping the presents."

The parents said, "Ohh fuck!"

Little Johnny replied, "What, Mommy and Daddy?" They replied, "Oh, nothing!" "Oh, okay," Little Johnny said. The mom whispered in the dad's ear, "At least he doesn’t know the truth."

Little Johnny said, "What truth?"

Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.

The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”

As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.