Parent jokes

Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.

What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?

They don't have parent permission.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

Why are orphans sad?

Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?

Imaginary parents.

Why do orphans have no bruises?

Because they have no dad to beat them.

What did the orphan say to his parents?

I'm tripping balls right now!

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.