Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
